Carpe Jugulum (Book 23)

In this and indeed other lives there are givers and takers. It's safe to say that vampires are very much in the latter camp. They don't have much time for the givers of this world - except perhaps mealtimes - and even less for priests.

Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be a priest.

Lancre's newest residents are a thoroughly modern, sophisticated vampire family. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They're out of the casket and want a bite of the future. But they haven't met the neighbours yet: between them and Lancre stand Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. And Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies. And young Agnes, although she is really in two minds about everything.

Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.